At first they told us she might only make it a couple of weeks because the cancer was invading her bile duct causing her bilirubin to increase to a dangerous level. She died on May 25, 2006. I was so afraid to sleep during those months when she was still alive because I knew my time was limited and I was afraid to miss a moment with her. It is still surreal to me. I miss her so much, especially today, on Mother's Day. She was a wonderful, loving, caring person.

Once we were sitting in the car shortly after her diagnosis. I was crying and telling her how sorry I was for every time we ever had harsh words, or disagreed. She was crying, too. After I shared all of my love and pride and in her she turned to me and through tears she said, "I am sorry, too, but I tell ya, I am not sorry for one time I beat your ass!". We both started laughing and walked in the house arm in arm. She was my strength, my source of unconditional love, inspiration and hope. She taught me about faith and more than I could ever put into words. I didn't realize how prevalent pancreatic cancer is until recently. I would love to find something that I could do for my mom to help raise money for pancreatic cancer research. Thank you for sharing your story-it has made a difference in my quest to make a difference because of all that my mom has brought to my life and the lives of those around her.

D A

My Dad, Earl, called me in November of 2004, telling me he had pains in his stomach, and it was not going away. He lived 80 miles north of me, near the Wisconsin border in Illinois. I asked him to come to Chicago and we would get him tested at a University in downtown Chicago, but, he wanted to stay in the Rockford Illinois area which is where my Parents retired. One hospital sent him
home with an ennema. Still thinking about that one.  Finally, a group of gastro Doctors kept testing and testing. Finally, in August of 2005, after he lost all his muscle and weight, they found a 2 x 4cm tumor on his pancreas wrapped around his main artery…. The first hospital found a 1 cm tumor in April of 2005, and sent him home with an ennema.

He decided to fight with Gemcetibine chemo for a couple of months, about a month before he passed away they sent him home. He outlived every Doctor’s
expectation. He was a very strong man. My father had built elevators for a living. He had worked on almost every high rise in downtown Chicago. What a sad way to die. My Dad use to carry iron elevator rails by himself. All his fellow coworkers told me he was the hardest working man they knew. He survived raising 6 kids, and losing his beloved wife a few years earlier. So, lets find an
early detection for this horrific cancer.

G W

We are sorry of your loss. I think you are brave to do what you are doing now.

C P

"Please accept my sympathies" is such an inadequate statement for the wishes and prayers we want to offer to people who have suffered losses. On the other hand, it is absolutely perfect in its simplicity and honesty. I can state this because my husband died of pancreatic cancer November 2, 2006 after being diagnosed June 14, 2006.

How wonderful that you are channeling your grief into fighting this insidious disease. Your hats are marvelous! You state that the net proceeds are given to the Lustgarten Foundation. I would like to know the amount at this time (I'm sure it is variable due to changing costs of material and labor.)

Our family has been impacted by cancer over and over again. We are sort of the walking sign board for cancer losses - breast, lung, multiple myeloma, pancreatic.  Although we donate to the individual research groups, I have become very active with the American Cancer Society which is devoted to all cancer research, public education, government advocacy and monetary and emotional support for cancer patients and their families. One of the major fundraisers is the Cattle Baron Ball which began in Dallas and now has spread to quite a few cities including mine, Akron, Ohio.  This will be our third year.  I would dearly love to wear your hat to the event (Stetsons and Stilettos is our
theme this year.)

I look forward to hearing from you. Good luck in your continuing endeavors.

M T

I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer 8 years ago today. We were best friends, and I miss her still every single day. Please give a white rose to someone you love, in memory of my mother, Mary.

Thanks and God Bless.

C J

Who was Rick "Lyons"?                                          

Rick Lyons was a man that touched many lives in a variety of ways. Rick lived a full life from serving in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War to being a fitness instructor at Peak Fitness. In January 2007 Rick, as he always did, thought of a new way to make a difference in other's lives by creating the very first Indoor Century Ride. The ride would last 5 hours averaging 20 miles an hour indoors to make up this 100 mile Century Ride at a cost of $100 per team. All proceeds were to be given to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation.  Of course this was a huge undertaking but he immediately began the work required to make it happen. In February of 2006, Rick became ill with what doctors suspected was an ulcer. With no relief from a few days of medication, his doctor instructed him to have more blood work done on Monday, February 26, 2007.   But he did not make that appointment. At midnight on February 25th, his wife Mary took him to the hospital because he could no longer tolerate the feeling of fullness and discomfort that rendered him unable to eat or sleep. It was that morning that the doctors informed Rick and Mary that he had a mass on his pancreas, spots on his liver, and most likely it was pancreatic cancer. Three days later his diagnosis was confirmed and doctors left him and his family with little hope. The news of Rick's condition spread rapidly. The 150 visitors that rushed to Rick's side in just the first two days were overwhelming. Even though Rick received this devastating news, he continued to touch lives by ministering to his many visitors and caretakers, continuing the Lord's work. As I visited one evening, he asked his precious wife Mary to make sure she wrote a check for the ride that he had worked so hard to create. On Friday, March 16, 2007 Rick went home to be with the Lord. In his memory, even though very difficult, the ride went on as planned the very next day. This year we decided to make a few changes to the ride in his memory.  All proceeds will be given to The Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic cancer.

M S

Hi, I'm writing from England. My Mum Jean died on Dec 23rd 2007.  She was 62 years old and was so full of life until a few months before.  Three months beforehand she was complaining of  backache and IBS.  The doctors put her back pain down to arthritis and said IBS was just one of those things to endure.  She saw an osteopath - but it didn't help her.  Then after complaining about pains in her stomach - my Dad took her back to the doctors.  He felt her stomach and sent her straight to hospital where blood tests revealed nothing, but they suspected kidney stones.  A scan revealed the cancer on her pancreas - which was inoperable.  She was found to have secondary lung cancer.  This diagnoses was made on Nov 30th and she was discharged the following week with morphine and an oxygen unit.  She went downhill rapidly and died 6 days after seeing an oncologist - where she was told chemo would kill her and that her prognosis was 3-4 months.

I miss my Mum every day and whilst I can hear her tell me to get on with my life .....I do struggle.  I mostly struggle with what caused the pancreatic cancer, which lifestyle element was the key factor.  Plus whether any of us should have picked anything up sooner.  Rationally I know that it is a silent killer.

I've read every single one of your stories and my heart breaks a little more.  The stories of raising money and awareness make me feel as if perhaps one day this type of cancer may be diagnosed early and that people will be given a higher survival rate.

Well done Sue for all your hard work.  Whilst I had donations to Cancer research instead of wedding gifts - I hope to do something else soon in memory of my Mother for pancreatic cancer.

P F

My beloved brother in law, Doug, passed away four years ago yesterday from this horrific disease. When he became symptomatic, they treated him for gall bladder disease and stones.  He had surgery and then some months later, the pain returned and it was only after that did they find the tumor on his pancreas.  He also had the Whipple procedure to "improve the quality of his life.”  He was diagnosed in November and by June 9, he was gone.  Our family misses this man so much.  You will never know a more decent man.  He was such a good soul and the world is worse off without him.  We need to have a better means of diagnosis so that people are given a chance to fight and maybe survive.

D.H.

My dad was diagnosed September 13, 2008 with pancreatic cancer  and passed away October 26,2008.  For approximately 3 months the doctors kept treating him for acid reflux.  His stomach pain was unbearable.  He couldn’t eat.  He couldn’t have a bowel movement.  He had a tumor wrapped around his intestines an also around his rectum.  They could not be removed which meant a colostomy.  Three weeks prior to his diagnosis, he had a colonoscopy.  It came back Normal.  He lost over half of his body weight.  He lived six weeks after diagnosis.  He didn’t eat anything the last 3 weeks.  I never knew anyone could survive that long without any type of nourishment.  He drank a few sips of water daily.  With so many prayers, he fortunately did not have excruciating pain.  For his final six weeks he never completed a 60 pill bottle of Oxycodon.  He kept his sense of humor and was coherent until four hours before his death.

The preacher had come to see him and Daddy hadn’t been saved.  And, finally daddy said he was ready to accept the Lord as his savior and go home.....

Four hours later...he did.   He was an auto mechanic, and an extremely heavy smoker, and a drinker, especially in his younger years.  He turned sixty-six years old on October 9, 2008.  Luckily he spent those last 6 weeks at home.  Hospice came daily to change his bandages from the exploratory surgery wound. He was cut from his sternum to his pubic area.  Something I still don’t understand, but when they opened him up it was advanced -- pancreas, liver, gall bladder, stomach, lymph nodes.  They just sewed him back up an sent him home to die.  I’m so glad we had those six weeks to spend with him, and hold his hand as he went home.  

In memory of William Carlis Bradley - October 9, 1942 - October 26, 2008.

We love you and miss you so much!

L.B.

On May 7,2007, my grandpa died of pancreatic cancer and I'm only 12 now, but the last time I saw him I was about 8 years old and that was the first time I saw him in real life. Now I just dream about him.  He was a cool grandpa too.  I didn’t go when he was slowly dying.  I didn't go to his funeral. My mom said it was for the better because she wants me to keep a memory of when he looked better and not so sick.

M.B.

Hello to Sue and everyone else who might read this.

My M.B.G., my Most Beautiful Gigi and wife of 30 years passed away on April 9, 2009, almost 11 months after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  As with the other stories, we were devastated with the news and rushed to find out what could be done. She first had to have the bile duct blockage cleared and the insertion of a stint was successful. With that addressed we were able to enjoy the next 10 months together and with family.  My wife, daughter and I did some traveling and enjoyed as much of life as possible.  My Most Beautiful Gigi passed away surrounded by family and friends at peace and without pain in my loving arms.

I can't believe the sorrow and pain that comes with losing someone so close to you. I too vow to start a campaign to raise money and awareness to help fight pancreatic cancer. May we all find the strength to carry on.

S.H.

I lost my beloved husband, Dave Dreisbach, on December 24, 2008 to metastatic pancreatic cancer.  He hadn't felt really well for a few months, and had been to the doctor who could find nothing wrong. He had been limping for probably over a year and thought he needed a knee replacement, as he had always had bad knees. On November. 16, I took him to an Urgent Care because he just wanted to get something for his leg and didn't want to wait in the long lines at the emergency room at the hospital.

That doctor sent him to the hospital, saying that he thought it was a blood clot.  They kept him in the hospital for 5 days with medicine to thin his blood and sent him home on that Friday November 21.  He was off work one more week, then went back half-days for one more week, when his stomach hurt so bad that he went to our doctor who sent him to the lab for more blood test and then home.  He got a call later that day, Fri. December 5 to go to emergency for an emergency infusion. Bottom line, he had massive blood clots, this time in the right leg, had a stent put in to block the clots, then a colonoscopy, and then his kidneys shut down. He went to ICU for five days. His kidneys came back, but he hadn't been able to walk since December 10. On Dec. 17 we got the final diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.  He went to hospice on December 19 and passed away exactly one week after his diagnosis. Apparently pancreatic cancer can cause massive blood clots. Who would've thought?   We had been married almost 35 years.  He was my rock, and the one and only love of my life.  It has been extremely hard to pull myself out of this hole I'm in, as I guess I'm still in denial.  Somehow we have to find a cure for this ugly disease, and I applaud you for all your efforts. 

R.D.

My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in December of 2008 after having sudden frequent bouts of throwing up. Her regular Dr thought that it was indigestion or gastritis. Tests ordered by her oncologist who had been following her for previous issues with lung cancer and two breast cancers over the last ten years ordered a pelvic Xray and discovered a tumor on her pancreas. It was recommended that she receive chemo with the hopes that the cancer would shrink and then be operable. The tumor never shrunk and over the course of several months from December 2008 she had a stint put in, and later in March to April of 2009  developed ascites-fluid build up in her abdomen that needed to be drained. Throwing up from December onward somewhat subsided with the Gemzar treatments she received but the throwing up got more frequent again in April and chemo had to be stopped due to ascites and blood count issues.  Shortness of breath and hospitalization for blood clots complicated matters in April and by the latter part of April, the doctor recommended that she be put on hospice due to intensified physical weakness. Mom died May 11, 2009. To me though she was weak, I never thought or could fathom and still can't the concept that she would die. I miss her dearly, but I know that the God of the Bible promises very soon a resurrection to occur for those that have died. I look forward to seeing her again. At that time on earth, the Bible says that "no resident will say 'I am sick'" (Isaiah 33:24:Matthew 6:9,10).

Thanks for this venue to share experiences, and my condolences also on all of your losses.

Still now though I pray often and wonder what could have been done to catch this earlier. Oncologists could be more proactive, especially with people with cancer histories. What a comfort to know that very soon, the God of the Bible promises to remove suffering and mourning, outcry and pain.  All of our dead loved ones have a hope of being restored to life on this earth by the Grand Creator of the Universe. Otherwise, is there really a point to life? (revelation 21:1-4)

N.W.
8/09

I lost my Dad for pancreatic cancer when I was 14 years old.  My dad died when he was 42 years old. The sad thing is, our little brother who is the youngest in the family was only 1 year old. He had no chance to see my dad or feel the love.  It was quick and hurting for him.

RPN
9/09

On July 14,2007, at 5 pm I lost my husband, love of my life, best friend and father of my children to pancreatic cancer at 52 years old.  The most amazing man you would ever want to meet.  There was no problem that he could not solve and for a while he was winning a valiant fight against this disease.  I miss him every day and only pray that when it is my turn to leave this earth we will be reunited.  My husband lived for 2 1/2 years from time of diagnosis to the time of his death and only in the last month of his life did he become debilitated where he could no longer work.  I commend you for your strength and your dedication to the memory of your loved one.  May you be an inspiration to us all.

CJ
9/6/09

In January 2009, my husband started complaining of back pain. He thought it was from taking Lipitor. When he stopped the Lipitor, the pain continued. He then started losing weight and in May became jaundiced. He was diagnosed on May 18, 2009 with metastasized pancreatic cancer. He has undergone Gemzar treatment for the past four months. He will finish this week. The first round of treatments shrunk his tumors slightly. He will have another C.T. scan next week to see if the second round responded at all.

We have just begun our journey. Only God knows the outcome. But the public needs to be made aware of the signs of pancreatic cancer as it is becoming more prevalent. I am glad to hear of an organization that is doing private research on this deadly disease.

 B.B.
                                                    9/10/09
 

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer Feb/March 09 and given only 6-12 months diagnosis.  He had a bout of diarrhea which he thought he got from work, as a few of his workmates had the same problem the same week.  He noticed the stools were very pale in color and his wee was very dark, but other than that, no symptoms whatsoever.  He woke up yellow one morning and ended up going to our local hospital for tests.  It was then that they found the tumor and the bottom of his bile duct/pancreas which was inoperable and therefore gave him this very short and horrific diagnosis. 

He has just received his last session of IV chemo, but still taking tablets at home at the moment.  He will be seeing the Consultant in a weeks' time, probably have another scan, see the Consultant again with a view to having more chemo.  He has been extremely brave with all this, not telling anyone (except me of course) and really, just getting on with his life.  I believe that it is this stubbornness within him that is keeping him going.  I just want to say how proud I am of him and what a wonderful husband, best friend, and daddy (6 yr old daughter).

Good luck to all those sufferers out there, be strong!!!

SB
10/19/09

On November 17, 2009, I lost my father to pancreatic cancer. He passed away 15 days after receiving the diagnosis. I suspected that he hadn't been feeling well for quite some time prior to his diagnosis. The day before he went to the hospital he called me and told me his symptoms- jaundice, dark urine, pale stools, and rapid profound weight loss. I was sure at that point that it was cancer, but was devastated when he received the final diagnosis, as I knew about the poor prognosis associated with pancreatic cancer. The doctors tried to place stints to open his bile ducts, and the procedures were unsuccessful. He was then given an external drain to relieve the pressure in his abdomen. I was with him for the last 48 hours of his life, and it was horrible to watch him die. I cannot describe it to anyone who has not seen it, and my heart goes out to everyone else that has been through this harrowing and most difficult of times. He died at home, in his bed, as was his wish. The Hospice nurses who came to the house to help us care for him in his last days were wonderful, and I cannot thank them enough. I am glad that my father did not have to suffer for very long in the end, but I do miss him terribly. He was my anchor, and I spoke with him every day. I feel lost without him. To all of you going through the same thing, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.

Samantha
12/31/09
 

My partner for 30 yrs was diagnosed in May of 2009. He had a stint inserted in his bile duct to relieve the jaundice and help him eat.  He has a jpeg tube for nutrient feedings. He has undergone the chemo 2 rounds radiation for 28 treatments He has just gone for a CT scan today...They may want to go with 2 rounds more of chemo...  The man had lost 25 lbs in a months time and his urine was dark and back pain...stools were clay colored and he thought it just came with getting older...  He has just had a bout with memory loss, which I understand could be a clot has let loose... This is a horrendous disease and knows no age limit at all....  Prayers for everyone involved with this cancer.

Sunny P.
3/18/10